Any success in your dating life and consequently your love life depends on your goals. Thus, we can all agree that having a successful love life is relative and there aren’t one-size-fits-all approaches to dating. But, there are ways to improve your mindset, your goals and other tips that are effective that will help you to reinvent your old dating life.
Would you date yourself?
If you haven’t heard this one already, it means that you aren’t used to the process of questioning your belief and narratives. But, a bit of introspection never hurt a person. Who are you? What is it that you enjoy? What are your goals in life? What are you willing to do to achieve them? What are your values? What is the one thing you’re proud you’ve achieved this year?
What would you do with your life if a fixed amount of money was deposited to your account every month but you were free to do anything with your time? Are you a good listener, or do you just wait for your turn to speak? These questions will help you get to know each other on a deep level and realize what the other person dating you receives. And if you realize that you’re a bad date, go work on yourself and turn the story around.
Find out what you want and stand by it
Is it love, relationship or situationship? Are you monogamous or monogamish? What is it that you want out of your love life? Are you looking for a love story or a life story? You can have many love stories in your life, but be honest if you truly crave a life story. But, to get to your goal, you need to know what it is that you want.
Once you identify your dating goal, you won’t tolerate false narratives, inconsistencies, not showing up, one-sided effort, “sorry I’ve been busy lately” texts and other excuses. We can easily focus on the potential by ignoring the red flags and bad behavior. Don’t tolerate bad and inconsistent behavior for the fear of being single.
Recognize that you might have different dating needs
Dating as a straight person and dating as a representative of the LGBTQ community is different. Gat people, especially those who live in small cities, find it hard to date because these communities are small. The options are even smaller if you’re looking for a long-term relationship, instead of a temporary one. As soon as you recognize that you might have different dating needs, the sooner you’ll find a different approach. You use the services of gay matchmaking experts, who’ll adapt their approach to your needs and match you up with suitable dates.
Don’t expect love at first swipe
Having high expectations, going on a date with an agenda and expecting it to be love, at first sight, are all scenarios you should leave behind. Such beliefs are limiting and they will only set you up for disappointment. Don’t expect anything from the first date apart from meeting a new person and getting to know them. Don’t expect to see the sparks immediately, because these aren’t the signs of compatibility. So, go on dates with an open mind, eagerness to just meet another human and leave expectations behind.
Your personal and dating lives should be in balance
Even if you really like the person, and you can’t wait to see them again, refrain from being love-bombed or doing that to another person. Your date should never be your entire purpose and the only source of happiness in life. If this is your pattern in dating, you should change your old ways by striking up a balance between your dating life and your other passions. Find time for your friends just like you’d normally do, and take time to enjoy your hobbies and other joyful activities.
Lastly, consider dating as working out. You need to repeat the process even when you feel like you aren’t progressing because one of these days, you might meet the person who shares your exercising, erm, and dating goals. So, do the inner work, define your relationship goals, adopt the right mindset, don’t expect love at first sight and get out there.
Love life can be tough sometimes. A good relationship needs a great communication between partners. Nice read!
I agree. Your personal and dating lives should always be in balance. There can never be one greater than the other. It’s give and take.